• Furniture porn (Done by Adam, but he didn't really do it justice in my opinion)
• Caption contests (Probably done to death, but mine would have been better - Expect big cash prizes folks!)
• Barbara Streissand (Has she really got the biggest nose of all time?)
• Guess the movie (I was only kidding about the cash by the way)
• Guess the celebrity body part (Basically it would just be 300 seperate photos of Vanessa Feltz's arse)
• Low calorie hamsters (...)
• Barbara Streissand (Yes, she blatantly has)
• There were more, but my memory isn't....Yeah...Exactly

Well you pesky little runts, I just want to say one thing before I go - You know I love you all to bits, but you're all adopted and I never believed you could amount to anything (That excludes anyone who I've linked to - you were the special ones).

Now I best be off before I burst into tears (Just stubbed me toe). See you on the flipside Joe!

 VS

This Saturday, only on pay per view

 Are these my breasts? Well then why are they yellow?

Before I begin, I must state that this blog is of the rarer, intelligent kind (Rare for me, anyway). Do not be put off by the religious undertones - it actually is worth reading and has absolutely nothing to do with what I ate for breakfast. However, if you do feel the sudden, urgent need for a more juvenile read, please visit http://spaces.msn.com/members/the-voivod/ (Only kidding, but I think we're even on semi-insults now). Anyways, on to the show...

The First Commandment was first recorded by Moses, who wrote it down in Hebrew together with the other nine, in the second of his books, called Exodus. The five books of Moses are the basis of the so-called Old Testament.

Hence, the First Commandment is the foundation of both Judaism and Christianity.

In my meditations, followed by studies of original texts, I found, that the First Commandment (Exodus 20:3) recorded by Moses in Hebrew is mis-translated and hence mis-interpreted in all languages on Earth.

Traditional translation (for example Aryeh Kaplan [1]) is as follows:
(20:3) "Do not have any gods before Me. Do not represent (such gods) by any carved statue or picture or anything in the heaven above or the earth below or in the water below the land. Do not bow down to or worship them."

My translation is this:
(20:3) Do not have any gods before Me. Do not represent (me) by any carved statue or picture or anything in the heaven above or the earth below or in the water below the land. Do not bow down to or worship them."

In traditional (Kaplan [1]) translation, the second sentence (such gods) contradicts the intention of the first. If all other gods are forbidden to begin with, WHY devote the next two sentences to them? Also, the singular (statue or picture) in the second sentence contradicts plural "gods" in the first. This indicates that the second sentence refers to the singular object mentioned in the first sentence. The ONLY singular object there that qualifies is God itself.

My translation is explicitly re-confirmed later in (20:20): "Do not make a representation of anything that is with Me". Such an explicit and precise repeat re-confirms the importance of this advice. Note, that no other commandment is re-confirmed that way.

Honestly translated First Commandment, reinforced by (20:20), explicitly and specifically forbids people creating any religion, any altar, any church and any clergy whatsoever, simply because all of these things fundamentally mis-represent God, who does NOT need a proxy of any kind. Could this fundamental conflict with clergy be a reason why Moses was eliminated and his body never found?

Many Christian priests try to cover up their explicit abuse of the First Commandment by claiming that Jesus "replaced" it. They should study Jesus' own words recorded in their own bible: "DO NOT SUPPOSE that I come to abolish the Law and the prophets. I did not come to abolish, but to complete." ([2] Matthew 17:)

Abuse of the First Commandment (mis-representation of God) is a source of untold human misery for thousands of years, conflicts, wars, all based on doctrines that explicitly contradict it. We have eyes, but do we see?

References

[1] The Living Torah, translated by Aryeh Kaplan, Maznaim Publishing Corporation, NY, Jerusalem 1981
[2] The New English Bible, New Testament, Oxford University Press, Cambridge University Press 1961

Is this a contradiction of the first commandment?

So here I stand before you, back in the 'wired world'. Yes I have broadband now - I no longer need to go and make myself a cup of tea every time I wanted to open a web page (It took six alone just to check my e-mail). I'm at a bit of a loss of what to write though...Hmmm, well I passed all my exams, so I am apparently allowed to pass go and collect £4000 (If my loan arrives on time, of course).

It has crossed my mind that these blogs are, well, boring. I mean honestly - none of you really actually care what I ate for breakfast (two Shreddies), or what that strange growth on my left foot actually looks like (it turns out it was a half-eaten M&M). Moving swiftly on, I have decided to attempt to make it a little more interesting in here. How might I do this, you ask? Well, how the hell should I know? Tell you what, let's all sit in a circle and think about that. No one is allowed to leave until we have at least three good ideas. In fact, I'm nailing everyone to the floor.

More comprehensible blogs up next.

Just realised that the title has nothing to do with this post, but it's a good song, so back off!

On a more serious and understandable note, I'm off home to Fareham for the summer where technologies such as broadband, decent clubs and hot running water are in sparse supply, so no more posts for a while (Boo-freakin-hoo). But don't worry, I shall forget you not, for I love you all like little deformed children that I hide away in my attic and occasionally throw fish heads at.

*Dives out of window* See you on the flipside guys!

P.s. I know what I want for Christmas - (Well it used to be Connect Forty)